What To Expect When You're You

Let's begin with a hypothetical situation: your friend (or family member or co-worker or random stranger on the street) returns from an extended period of sabbatical taken for personal mental health reasons. You, naturally, are curious about the reason for the departure and decide to approach said friend, or family member, or what have you. After telling said person how glad you are to have them back, you say:
A. I heard you had depression. I've been sad like that before, but I never thought to get tested. Instead I just exercise. Have you tried exercising?
B. My ex-boyfriend's step-mother's sister had bipolar disorder and snapped and robbed a store and then shot her husband. Did you snap? Is that why you were sent away?
C. I'm really interested in stories like this. Like how people can actually think life is so bad that there's no reason to live. It's fascinating. Tell me what happened, start to finish.
D. So, I did research on your little problem and I really think if you stay positive and pray, then God will take this worry away from you. If you don't have enough faith, you'll stay this way. It's all in your head, you know.
E. Hey, I'm here if you ever want to talk about it.

Alright! If you answered ANYTHING but E, you failed. Miserably.

As someone with a mental disorder, I've heard variations of all of the above. It's not fun, to say the least. It's like people don't realize the hot mess you are after facing your proverbial giants.

There are hundreds of wrong things to say to someone when their mental state has been jeopardized, but alas!

There are hundreds of right things to say to someone with mental health issues as well.

Well, for me, personally, there is. Here's just a few.

1. I know you don't want to be around many people right now, but could I make you some tacos and we can have a movie night? I own all of the Captain America movies.

2. Do you want to go outside and scream until you're hoarse? Release some of that pent up aggression?

3. How is your therapy going? Anything I can help with?

4. Do you want to take a nap while I do a load of laundry?

5. Do you want to go lay in a field and stare at the stars?

6. Call me whenever you need to talk. I want to know when you feel that way.

7. I will always always ALWAYS be there for you. No matter what.

8. No, you are not crazy.

9. Want to go to the dog park?

10. Do you want to go for a drive?

11. You are not a burden.

12. You are so loved.

13. I'll be here with you through it all.

14. I'm thinking about grabbing dinner, want to join me?

15. Hey, I saw this funny story and it made me think of you!


It's not a lot. It's not life changing. It's simple and easy and not prying or condemning.

Most of the time, I say no. I don't want social interaction. I don't feel comfortable sharing my thoughts or feelings. But don't stop asking. Don't stop talking. Don't stop.

I, and others like me, need people who are constantly in our corner. We need to know that we are not alone, even when we push others away.

Be steady and patient. Be an unwavering support system. Be prepared for anything. Always keep chocolate on hand. Be there.

Until next time.

Make good choices.

Just Another Manic Sunday

Here's the thing about my bipolar disorder, I tend to lean more towards the "manic" side of things. If you know me at all, you know I'm hyper and fast talking and easily excitable. That's my normal. And let me tell you, I've been extremely normal these past few days.

Now, I know mania sounds cool and totally not harmful, but sometimes it's too much.

Last night, or should I say early this morning, I decided I needed macaroni and cheese. Like, NEEDED. So I crawled out of my bed at 1 am and made my way into the kitchen, moving quietly so I wouldn't wake up my dog. Honestly we both had only been in bed for about an hour, so it wouldn't have been the worst.

But I started on the cheesy boxed goodness. Then I remembered a song that I had heard on the radio, "Thunder" by Imagine Dragons. So I started listening to it. And dancing. And singing loudly. Which woke my dog. So we both began dancing and singing. Which made me remember ballet from when I was 5. So I tried to teach my dog what little I remembered of my ballet class. Unsurprisingly, he was not a good student. After our dance session ended, I decided I wanted biscuits with my mac and cheese. So I preheated the oven and shoved those suckers in. All the while, repeating this one song over and over and over again.

Then I realized I never compliment myself enough. So I used a spoon to stare into my own eyes and let them fly.

"Katie, I love the way you eat half a bag of pizza rolls at a time. That takes dedication and I admire that in a girl. And sometimes, you sing very well in the shower. Not always. But the other day when you broke out into that "Dear Evan Hansen" song, well you killed it. Oh, and I hope Captain America comes and finds you and marries you one day."

By now I'm all buttered up and I feel on top of the world. So I put on a dress, because it's a fancy dinner, and set my table with my favorite cactus plate and serve what I feel will be the best dinner in the world. And it is.

After, I leave all the dishes right where they are and sit on my couch with a blanket and watch episode after episode of Adventure Time until I fall asleep.

When I finally woke up this morning, I knew I had lost control. It's like I know what I'm doing in the midst of a manic episode, but I feel too fantastic to care. It's just a problem for future me. And future me takes care of it, like she did this morning. Washing pans and hanging up many dresses, cleaning up macaroni and cheese from the floor where I decided I should share with the dog.

Mania isn't cool. I won't deny the fun, but it's part of a bigger problem. It wrecks my sleep schedule, makes me nervous to go out in fear of all of the trouble I could get into, and leaves me feeling hallow after it's over.

It's something I deal with and something the people I love have learned to deal with. But y'all, that macaroni was good. So I'll keep dealing.

Until next time.

Make good choices.

Let Me Tell Ya Bout The Birds, And The Bees, And A Girl's Self-Esteem

Howdy, all! Long time no see. What's been happening? How's your family? Well, that's fantastic!

Now that that's out of the way, let's get down to business (to defeat the Huns).

But seriously.

Last week was probably the most intense, jam packed, no-time-to-breathe week of my life aka my brother's wedding week. Which I planned/directed. And if you know nothing else about me, know I'm a perfectionist and yes the wedding was perfection. Yet, in the middle of trying to find the missing 20 dozen eggs, fixing the bride's dress, getting candles lit and tables set up, and calming down the groom, I had people coming up to me asking "When's your turn?"

I'm sorry, what?

When's my turn? I'm up to my ears in gossamer and lights, with bruises on my shins from not knowing how to properly move a ladder, and you want to know when I'm doing this? Uh, never.

Once I calmed down enough to realize they were picking on me, but truly interested to talk about my love life, I responded with "Oh, well, I'm focusing on getting my brother married, besides I would have to have a boyfriend before I even thought about marriage!"

That sated most of them, but then you had the ones who started pointing out guys at my brother's wedding for me to date.

"What about him?"

"Oh, no, he's basically a big brother. Go ahead and rule out any groomsmen."

"And him? He's cute!"

"Yeah, and he's also engaged."

"Well, Katie, maybe if you weren't so picky, you would have a boyfriend by now!"

Ah, there it was. The "You should date aaaaannnyyyooonnnneee." And maybe I'm beating a dead horse, but I don't see the problem with being picky about who I date. So what if I miss out on "such a catch"? Maybe there was someone at the wedding I had my eye on! Maybe I was too busy to do anything about it. In the end, it's my decision on who I spend my time with. And I'm not sure if I want to "date" anyone right now anyway.

A good friend of mine coined the phrase "Relationally Curious", which means "I find you appealing but I'm not sure if I want to pursue a dating relationship with you quite yet. Let's get to know each other, huh?"

I am 100% all in with being Relationally Curious about someone.

That being said, this girl, and I'm sure some others like me, are fighting the fight of keeping guys at a distance. I don't really want a relationship, but hanging out with someone would be nice. And if I feel comfortable with taking the next step, and he does as well, then yay! Relationship!

But if a guy is into me and I have no want to spend time with him, then I'm sorry. And if I am into a guy and he has no want to spend time with me, then I'm sorry. Relationships are a two way street.

Given that I'm the worst person at flirting and/or understanding flirting, I need straight and up front with everyone. There's a chance that if I've ever liked you, I've told you. And if you've liked me and I didn't reciprocate, I've told you.

Girls, and guys, don't feel like you have to date someone only because they like you. If you're not attracted to them (and yes that's a factor), if you don't like their personality, or if you have a bad feeling about them, skip it. Don't go into a relationship you feel uncomfortable about. Don't go into a relationship where you feel the other person is just using you.

You are not somebody's wild oats to be sewn.

Be upfront and honest and humble. Take a "no" like a champ. Start changing the dating scene, and who knows who you'll find.

PSA: The fun thing about my blog is that it's all my opinion and personal history! If we don't agree, I'm sorry. That's what's fun about opinions: they're entirely your own.

Until next time.

Make good choices.