Let Me Tell Ya Bout The Birds, And The Bees, And A Girl's Self-Esteem

Howdy, all! Long time no see. What's been happening? How's your family? Well, that's fantastic!

Now that that's out of the way, let's get down to business (to defeat the Huns).

But seriously.

Last week was probably the most intense, jam packed, no-time-to-breathe week of my life aka my brother's wedding week. Which I planned/directed. And if you know nothing else about me, know I'm a perfectionist and yes the wedding was perfection. Yet, in the middle of trying to find the missing 20 dozen eggs, fixing the bride's dress, getting candles lit and tables set up, and calming down the groom, I had people coming up to me asking "When's your turn?"

I'm sorry, what?

When's my turn? I'm up to my ears in gossamer and lights, with bruises on my shins from not knowing how to properly move a ladder, and you want to know when I'm doing this? Uh, never.

Once I calmed down enough to realize they were picking on me, but truly interested to talk about my love life, I responded with "Oh, well, I'm focusing on getting my brother married, besides I would have to have a boyfriend before I even thought about marriage!"

That sated most of them, but then you had the ones who started pointing out guys at my brother's wedding for me to date.

"What about him?"

"Oh, no, he's basically a big brother. Go ahead and rule out any groomsmen."

"And him? He's cute!"

"Yeah, and he's also engaged."

"Well, Katie, maybe if you weren't so picky, you would have a boyfriend by now!"

Ah, there it was. The "You should date aaaaannnyyyooonnnneee." And maybe I'm beating a dead horse, but I don't see the problem with being picky about who I date. So what if I miss out on "such a catch"? Maybe there was someone at the wedding I had my eye on! Maybe I was too busy to do anything about it. In the end, it's my decision on who I spend my time with. And I'm not sure if I want to "date" anyone right now anyway.

A good friend of mine coined the phrase "Relationally Curious", which means "I find you appealing but I'm not sure if I want to pursue a dating relationship with you quite yet. Let's get to know each other, huh?"

I am 100% all in with being Relationally Curious about someone.

That being said, this girl, and I'm sure some others like me, are fighting the fight of keeping guys at a distance. I don't really want a relationship, but hanging out with someone would be nice. And if I feel comfortable with taking the next step, and he does as well, then yay! Relationship!

But if a guy is into me and I have no want to spend time with him, then I'm sorry. And if I am into a guy and he has no want to spend time with me, then I'm sorry. Relationships are a two way street.

Given that I'm the worst person at flirting and/or understanding flirting, I need straight and up front with everyone. There's a chance that if I've ever liked you, I've told you. And if you've liked me and I didn't reciprocate, I've told you.

Girls, and guys, don't feel like you have to date someone only because they like you. If you're not attracted to them (and yes that's a factor), if you don't like their personality, or if you have a bad feeling about them, skip it. Don't go into a relationship you feel uncomfortable about. Don't go into a relationship where you feel the other person is just using you.

You are not somebody's wild oats to be sewn.

Be upfront and honest and humble. Take a "no" like a champ. Start changing the dating scene, and who knows who you'll find.

PSA: The fun thing about my blog is that it's all my opinion and personal history! If we don't agree, I'm sorry. That's what's fun about opinions: they're entirely your own.

Until next time.

Make good choices.